Tag: humor
member name: John L.
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May 21, 2008 11:46 AM EDT --
I swallowed the worm and immediately felt a sharp pain in my throat. Aw, not again!
A violent jerk pulled me above the water. . . .
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May 21, 2008 12:00 PM EDT --
During the tenth year of my service as chief advisor and treasurer for King Dunkirque of Malarka, he summoned me to review a handwritten request for a most unusual decree.
I studied it with raised . . .
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May 21, 2008 12:15 PM EDT --
It's hard to be noticed when you're an itsy bitsy spider. Especially when you're the itsiest bitsiest spider in a family of four thousand. Dad expected all of us to go into the family business. . . .
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June 11, 2008 06:07 PM EDT --
PROLOGUE 8:30 p.m. Thursday, September 17 (Brooks University, Winfrey Hall)
I'm a single Christian white male, 23, with no car. Please, if you had to reread that, then just stop reading . . .
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June 11, 2008 06:12 PM EDT --
6:45 p.m. Friday, September 18
Valerie parked in the visitor lot at Brooks University and studied a campus map mounted on a placard along the sidewalk. She plotted her course to Winfrey Hall and . . .
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June 11, 2008 06:23 PM EDT --
7 p.m. Friday, September 18 (Brooks University Library)
The scraping of Angela's soles echoed against the linoleum echoed off the library walls and shelves. With most Brooks students forgoing . . .
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June 12, 2008 06:09 AM EDT --
7 a.m. Sunday, September 20
"H'lo?"
Marvin groped for a response to the groggy moan in his telephone earpiece. . . .
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June 12, 2008 06:10 AM EDT --
8 p.m. Friday, September 18 (Valerie's apartment)
Back from her abortive matchmaking stint at Brooks University, Valerie laid her satchel by the sofa and unlatched the ferret cage. Adam and . . .
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June 12, 2008 06:10 AM EDT --
8:45 p.m. Friday, September 18 (Marvin's apartment)
"But I want to. I really do."
Diana's words echoed . . .
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June 12, 2008 06:22 PM EDT --
5 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 20
Valerie returned from the hospital to find another message from Marvin on her answering machine announcing that she should call because "the most amazing thing" . . .
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June 12, 2008 06:23 PM EDT --
3:15 p.m. Monday, September 21
". . . and be assured that I am very familiar with the essays peddled by yeah-sure-its-mine.com and its competitors. Do not waste your money, because you will . . .
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June 12, 2008 06:23 PM EDT --
6:30 p.m. Tuesday, September 22 (Marvin's apartment)
"Hi, this is Gretchen. Loved your ad. I'm young, brunette, and really cute. My number is ###-###-####. Can't wait to hear from . . .
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June 17, 2008 09:25 AM EDT --
Hello, Tuesday WE Opt-in!
Here are some links to my most popular articles. Each has received more than 10 comments. Give them a look if you haven't already!
Florida 2000 vs. Florida 2008 . . .
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June 04, 2008 02:22 PM EDT --
Preface: This is a piece I found in my archives from 2005. After it was rejected by The Onion, I kind of forgot about it. It's a little dated, but if you can turn your mind back to the "Whoa, . . .
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June 11, 2008 09:55 AM EDT --
United-Northwest-Frontier Air Clarifies Its New Pricing Policies
We here at United-Northwest-Frontier Air know that you have a choice when you travel by air. Not much of a choice—pretty . . .
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June 13, 2008 05:54 AM EDT --
6:45 p.m. Thursday, September 24
Marvin poised his hand over the receiver for a moment and then picked up. "Hello?"
A female voice responded. "Marvin. Guess who."
"Diana?" . . .
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June 13, 2008 05:54 AM EDT --
1:30 p.m. Saturday, September 26 (Corner Grove, the Miller Residence)
Valerie decided to learn the rest of Angela's story before Marvin got any closer to her. Reluctant to raise Angela's . . .
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June 13, 2008 05:54 AM EDT --
8:30 p.m. Sunday, September 27
"Hi, Marvin, I'm Brenda. I'm 25 and a financial analyst. I'm smart, sugar-sweet, sandy-blond, and super-intrigued by your ad. Anyway, give me a . . .
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June 13, 2008 01:20 PM EDT --
6:45 p.m. Tuesday, September 29
"Hi, Marvin. My name's Anita. I've never answered a personal ad before, and I never thought I would, but something about yours just seems to call out . . .
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June 14, 2008 12:07 AM EDT --
10:52 p.m. Friday, October 9
"This will be over soon." Angela Miller dashed across the Brooks University campus. "In fact, this never started. There is no this !"
. . .
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